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Just broke up and too devastated to think straight? Just what do you do when you desperately need to get back with your ex? Before you type in that 100th text message, you need to know that pouring your heart out to your ex at this point is pointless and lame. Your ex won’t come back knowing that you miss him or her like crazy, because psychologically, the hungry dogs don’t get fed. Get it?

Let’s say your dog suddenly stop whining for food, maybe even hangs out with your neighbor more than you. What just happened? You start to think if your dog is sick….or could your dog have dumped you for your neighbor? At this point, you are paying more attention to your dog, showering it with food and attention….even if it’s just for your own curiosity. Aha! The moral of the story? You must know how your ex’s mind functions to gain an unfair advantage to get them back.

If you are honestly looking at the reasons of your breakup, you’ll probably see realize by now that the breakup happened as a result of the inability to change the other party. Did you fall short of her expectations of a perfect partner or do you stop trying once you know she won’t be the woman you wanted her to be? Many break ups happen because “it doesn’t work out”, or “we’re not compatible” because your ex did not behave in a way you want him or her to behave.

What this means is that if you can convince your ex that you have changed for the better, there is still hope for getting back together. You stop trying to change your ex, and start showing your ex that you have changed for the better. How? One way of doing this is by showing that you have taken the time to assess the break up and came to the conclusion that you are willing to make some adjustment to help the relationship. Proof your point not just by speech but by the things that you do. This will give your ex the impression that you do care deeply about the relationship.

Note that you do not want to suggest getting back together or show interest in reuniting. You simply better yourself so that your ex will change his or her perspective on you (as in tricking your ex into thinking that you have changed, but in reality you are changing your ex’s mindset about you). By doing this your ex will definitely rethink about the relationship that you shared and whether he or she really want to walk away from it all.

At this point, the two of you would be in a guessing phase, just like in the beginning of your courtship, since the chemistry is there but there was no known intention of reconciliation. This dynamic is sexy and is a fresh change from the coupled life you have led together, serving as a fantastic platform to reignite your love for each other. What you can do at this point of time is to ask your ex out for casual session of coffee just to catch up. Conversation topics should be light and nice, and talking about past relationship problems is strictly not allowed. You are here to recapture the lost feeling of being in love.

What can you do to nudge your ex to come back to you when you are not suppose to express the intention of making up? At the very least, you need to let your ex feel what he or she is missing. Little gesture that you used to do for your ex such as remembering important dates or reminding your ex of some happy memories together can go a long way to influencing your ex to reconsider the break up.

Getting your ex back using these subtle psychological approaches gives you a much higher success rate. After all, we’re hard wired to think and behave in similar ways, with strong influence from our instinct and emotion. The real task here is to make your ex think that he or she want you back, instead of telling them outright.

Getting back with your ex is a delicate task, and you must never left out the details on how to react when your ex response to your strategies.Do not take chances because you may not get a second chance to get your ex back once your ex
see through you. Visit http://www.WinningExBack.org/get-ur -ex-back-magic-of-making-up.html today!

Article Source: Psychological Tricks To Getting Your Ex Back

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You finally heard the news you’ve been dreading to hear, even though you know deep down that it is going to happen one day – that your ex boyfriend is an item with someone new. The tick off? You have just broken up with him, or rather, he has recently suggested that the two of you take a break.

Needless to say, being dumped is bad enough without all the additional humiliation. Don’t go on a spy mission to compare yourself to this new interest of his, or go on to investigate if he have already been unfaithful with you in the past. Why endure the added pain just to find out the truth?

What most women do not realize is that men are easy prey to another hook up (notice how I don’t call it a relationship) right after a break up. It may be a means of killing lonely hours, seeking thrill after long period of being with a steady girlfriend, or just finding someone to share the bed. The truth is that men, unlike women, are not on the lookout for a soul mate. They can separate intimate contact from feelings, which means that “the hook up” is not what it may seem at first.

Your ex may be indulging in a rebound relationship just to ease the pain of the break up, so essentially he may still harbor feelings for you. Since he is still in a vulnerable post-breakup state, your chance of getting back together is high, and it is important to do all the right things from the very beginning, such as displaying the correct reaction to the break up. The more you wait to act, the more he will get over you and the harder it is to kiss and make up.

If you really want to get back with an ex boyfriend, try this powerful method of ignoring him. Men are “conquerers” by nature and they seek new prey from time to time. You can keep you man interested as long as you play the role of a trophy prey. The finer looking and the more out of reach you are, the more he is going to be interested.

Let him go, leave it for a while, reach out sometimes but don’t initiate getting back together. This will drive him absolutely crazy. He will be flattered yet is confused about what you really want from him. Plant the seed of possible reconciliation and watch them turn into a desire that come deep within him.

The best part is that you can do this even if you’re dumped. Why play the role of a pathetic unwanted girlfriend when you can be “the one that got away”? Men are never articulate enough to tell if they are making the correct decision especially when it comes to love (don’t we all?) and this is where you can cast doubt in his mind. Before long, he will see that he have made a huge mistake by breaking up with you and will try to get back together with you.

http://www.WinningExBack.org has help over 6000 couples get back with their ex, and now it’s your turn. Get free guide, videos and articles on how to win your ex back now. Don’t take chances when it come to getting back with an ex lover! Visit http://www.WinningExBack.org/get-ur-ex-back-magic-of-making-up.html to download your free guide today!

Article Source: How You Can Get Your Ex Back When He Is Dating Again

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Have you ever asked yourself: Does true love exist? Is the notion of soul mates real? Have you ever found yourself asking a couple who has been married for many years, “What’s your secret?” If you answered “yes” to any of these, you’re not alone. Since time immemorial, we have been trying to unravel the mystery of love and long-lasting relationships.

Hayden Dane, a pseudonym for a regular guy who has tried to learn from his relationship mistakes, believes he has the answer: Admiration.

In his new direct-to-download book entitled “I Have One Question,” Dane makes a convincing case that true love lies in one partner admiring in the other what he/she admires about himself/herself, and vice versa.

Says Dane, “What a man (or woman) admires in himself (or herself) forms his identity; his essence. These elements combine to form the person he believes he is and wishes others to see. Consequently, he is least likely to compromise on these elements; least likely to change them. If his partner can’t admire these elements, and vice versa, their relationship will be tension-filled and won’t be likely to endure.”

“I Have One Question” describes a conversation to be had between couples or those looking to be couples that will elicit the elements each admires in himself/herself. Dane observes that most people haven’t thought in terms of admiration, so simply asking your partner, “What do you admire about yourself,” isn’t likely to yield helpful information. To overcome this limitation, Dane walks readers through the conversation to have, using himself as an example. Upon finishing the book, the reader should be able to have a comfortable and productive conversation with their spouse, significant other, or prospective partner and be able to properly interpret the answers received in order for each to reliably conclude on their long-term compatibility as a couple.

Dane’s motives are not purely altruistic, however. It turns out that Mr. Dane is looking for his soul mate, and his book is a helpful (and clever) way of introducing himself to eligible women. By using himself as an example for the conversation, Mr. Dane is able to share with readers what it is he admires about himself. “Perhaps one of my single, female readers will conclude that she admires me for the things I admire about myself, and we’ll have a conversation and I’ll find that I admire her for what she admires about herself. That would make for a very promising match,” says Dane. “If that doesn’t happen, at least I will have helped a lot of others in their search for true love and a lifelong relationship.”

Not one to dismiss the importance of physical chemistry and other traditional elements of compatibility, Dane agrees that they should be present for a fulfilling relationship, but contends that if they are present without the mutual admiration he describes in his book, the relationship will be tenuous. Dane points to the high divorce rate as proof, suggesting that if one were to explore many of the relationships, you would find that traditional measures of compatibility existed but mutual admiration did not.

“I Have One Question” is available for download at www.haydendane.com

Article Source: Mystery Unraveled: Admiration is the Key to True Love

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Domestic violence help comes in all shapes and sizes. There is the crisis hotline to get you where you need to go ASAP. Then, there are the community domestic abuse support groups that assure you that “you are not alone.”

Your domestic violence shelter will give you all the resources for your immediate transition from the danger you live to safe housing. They may even have a domestic abuse legal advocate that will help you with your legal matters.

But what about your psychological care, who will tend to that? You can find a counselor or therapist with clinical background in domestic violence. Sometimes you may scratch your head wondering if you know more about domestic abuse than the therapist. Other times, you can hit the jackpot and find the professional healthcare provider that helps you usher yourself out of the darkness into the light.

Do you know the help you will want to secure in your quest to end domestic abuse? Do you know where you will find each piece of the puzzle as you transition from being in an abusive relationship to reclaiming yourself and your life?

Far too often domestic violence survivors don’t really know what they need or where to find it when they need it most. The more homework you do upfront, the better you will be in the long run.

The following is intended to help you inventory your needs and prioritize your securing help in meeting these needs.

1) Create an alliance with your local public abuse services for all immediate needs and steps to protect yourself from imminent danger.

2) Familiarize yourself with your residential options before you jump out of the “nest.”

3) Compile your personal documents and get your finances in order as best as can be done, even though you may not be accustomed to finance management.

4) Secure information and resources to help you obtain any protective orders you believe necessary to minimize conflict and danger by your abusive partner, especially upon and after your departure.

5) Engage a healthcare provider that is knowledgeable about the psychological, social and legal aspects of domestic abuse to help your navigate from the chaos to closure.

As in any journey, once you get your ducks in a row and line up your resources and soldiers, you will move from point A to point B more successfully. Your planning is key to your designing your exit and the outcome of your departure.

For more information and help in your planning, see Domestic Violence Resources.
Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse at home and in court. Copyright 2009 http://www.EndDomesticAbuse.org/ebooks.php

Article Source: Domestic Violence Help – The 5 Essential Resources for Domestic Abuse Survivors

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Couples will admit that it takes conscious effort to nurture a healthy relationship. During those first exciting stages of dating, everyone is on their best behaviors. It can be hard to find fault with one another. Everything feels perfect.

Those minor character flaws may be perceived as endearing or quirky in the beginning. Six months later, they can be seen as perpetually annoying habits or unbearable irritants. Either way, nothing’s perfect and that’s what makes it “perfect”… (I know…it’s a paradox. But life itself is one big paradox – if you haven’t already noticed).

My point is this: In order to realize ‘perfection,’ you must first experience imperfection. It’s the same with saying you cannot know ‘happy’ if you’ve never known ‘sadness.’ One side of the equation cannot exist without the other. That’s the paradox of life!

So don’t get too caught up trying to define a “perfect relationship” or compare your relationship with others to get some sort of validation. No two couples are the same. What works best in your relationship may not necessarily work well for another couple.

So remember: Perfect is nothing but a word to describe what appeals to you most. We say it’s perfect when things go our way. We say it’s perfect when two people come together happily. So you see, it’s just a word associated with being content.

Simply put: If you’re in a relationship that puts you in a good state of mind, then, you are in a ‘perfect’ relationship. And if you’re still looking for that ‘perfect’ person, keep in mind they don’t need to be perfect in all that they do, just as long as they’re a perfect fit for you.

From her columns to her blog, Penny continues to capture the hearts of her readers with exhilarating insight and inspiring wisdom. Her blog offers tips, advice and inspiration on everything to do with relationships. Let this site be a place you go to for some insight to inspire healthier, happier relationships in your life. http://www.relationshipadvicefrompenny.com

Article Source: How do you define a “perfect” relationship?

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Have you ever felt drained after being around a certain person? Maybe you feel like you’re walking on eggshells trying to cater to their ever-changing mood. Or for the most part, you have to go out of your way to explain your actions to them so they can understand your good intentions. Maybe they say they understand how you feel, but yet, their actions are contradicting. Whether or not their behavior is deliberate, bottom line is: you feel drained when you have to deal with them. Could it be that this relationship requires more care and maintenance than you’re prepared to give?

People with whom you surround yourself can make you, or break you. You may have been led to believe that the longer the friendship, the better the friend. Yet, that’s not always the case. Yes, some friendships can be like fine wine—growing in richness with time—but some, just aren’t meant to have a very long shelf life.

Recognize that regardless of how long you’ve been together, if it’s an unhealthy relationship, it can be a kind of toxic in your life; it can be a roadblock in your life preventing you from moving ahead to where you want to go. And if you allow it to continue, your mood will suffer in a way that not only sacrifices your own well-being, but also the well-being of others around you.

It can be hard to part ways with a friend or a partner, even when their behavior warrants it. While betrayal or seemingly deliberate attempts to be hurtful are clear signals that it’s time to move on, sometimes the signal of the end of a relationship isn’t that obvious. Furthermore, sometimes an unhealthy relationship can brew from two people who truly want to be kind to one another, but somehow along the way, they ended up on different pages; they don’t agree with each other, and tension rises. This can be just as unhealthy. So what do you do? I guess this is where you have to use your better judgement.

If after a fair amount of consideration, you feel strongly about maintaining a relationship with this person, then be assertive and communicate honestly with them about what is working and not working for you in the relationship. Give it your all and kindly speak your truth, and allow them to do the same. And after this, if you still don’t see any progress, at least you know you did your best and you wouldn’t have left much room for regrets with “I should have” or “I could have.”

Leaving behind an unhealthy relationship is one of the best things you can do for your well-being, as you make room for more positive, nurturing people to enter your life. As they say: When one door closes, only then can another door open.

In life, we’ll all inevitably experience unhealthy relationships that challenge our minds and hearts so we can learn and grow. So learn from it, grow from it. But recognize when it is time to say goodbye. As you move forward in life, continue to give that which you seek. If you want relationships that enhance your life, help you to be your best, and encourage your dreams, then, offer this kind of friendship to another person. You’ll get out of life what you put into it…always.

From her columns to her blog, Penny continues to capture the hearts of her readers with exhilarating insight and inspiring wisdom. Her blog offers tips, advice and inspiration on everything to do with relationships. Let this site be a place you go to for some insight to inspire healthier, happier relationships in your life. http://www.relationshipadvicefrompenny.com

Article Source: If you want a happier, more fulfilling life, let go of unhealthy relationships

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“Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance”. Sounds like fun. And it is! It’s a song by a group called Mary Mary (the song is “Praise You”, if you want to listen.)

When you hear it, I’m sure you’ll understand why it’s one of my favorites for joyful dancing. It’s great for those times when you have so much inside, you just have to let it out.

Sometimes we see our Christian life as tying us down. Our mind is harsh with us–“No more of this, get busy with that –and for SURE no more of the other!”

But when God works in our lives, He actually sets us free to be the person we were always created to be. Free to dance our best dance, sing our best song, laugh our deepest laughs. Free to open our hearts to experience love…and free to love beyond ourselves.

It doesn’t happen all at once.

Say you’re treading water, making it on your own, doing fine when it’s calm and pretty…but you’re getting tired ‘cause you’re dragging burdens with you, more and heavier as you go along. You know you’re in trouble when it gets stormy, but you’ve made it this far…still, there’s no freedom to dance when you’re dragging chains–and in your heart, you know you’re headed for drowning.

“Saved” is where you let Him pull you into the boat.

But once we’re on board, we don’t have to sit there, safe but dripping, crouched down in our corner or getting in the way of anyone who comes by. Or worse yet, warm and dry, smacking down at those who are still in the water! When the folks still in the water see us there, they should see us dancing and hear the laughter, and long to come on board themselves! Not get near and then get smacked!

Once you’re on the boat, if you’ll stop shuffling around, dragging your chains, and stay still long enough to let Him, He’ll take the shackles off your feet—and off your heart too—so you can dance.

Christian meditation is a time for you to stop, a time to sit down and hold out your chains. And then He will set you free to dance your journey. He will set you free to relish the trip– free to be useful to others on board, and the ones still in the water, too.

It’s a link by link process, being set free, but we dance better every time another one breaks loose.

And as you get free, He’ll show you how to sail into the wind. To experience the beauty of the world you’re in, and trust in the adventure of the One you’re journeying to.

If you’re still in the water—take His hand and come on board.

But if you’re already on board, stop dragging those chains around. Be still for a bit, and let Him take the shackles off your feet so you can dance! And then join me for the party up on the prow.

I still trip and fall sometimes. But my chains are dropping too!

Dr. Deborah Kukal is a licensed psychologist who has been teaching meditation in a hospital setting for more than 15 years.

Dr. Kukal’s Christian meditation CDs will teach you to meditate, and support you in your meditation.

To learn more about meditation, and try a free guided Christian meditation, visit Dr. Kukal at her website, http://www.joyofchristianmeditation.com

Article Source: Christian Meditation—Set Free to Dance

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You should be able to find several indispensable facts about in the following paragraphs. If there’s at least one fact you didn’t know before, imagine the difference it might make.

Hypnosis is one of the best and fastest methods for creating success in weight loss management, smoking cessation and other problem habits. There are many ways of controlling your weight loss management with hypnosis starting with controlling your self – conscience mind set and by continually feeding positive thoughts to your sub conscience mind. Stress, eating habits, body and health all control how we feel about food.

To understand these issues we will first tackle stress and food. A majority of us will use food as a comfort unconsciencly which in turn will give us pressure and increase our desire to eat. Learning, listening and understanding your bodies craving and eating patterns will aid your hypnotic approach and attack at the care issues responsible for your misgiving. A good example are hunger pains which are the bodies calling for nourishment as compared to your appetite which is eating and drinking for pure pleasure. Reprogramming our subconscious mind is a great thing to behold when you can witness for yourself the benefits of a healthy, drug free and safe method to lose weight and leave it of

See what others have said about this weightloss method

Http://uncoveredsolutions.com/weightloss

Article Source: The Easiest and best way to lose weight

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Are you online looking for the best wrap around knee brace?

Why This Knee Brace Style Exists Today

Often times, people will look for a knee support based upon their size and shape. What we mean by this, is that people will need to find a knee support that will fit well to not only their knee, but also their thigh an calf as well.

Wrap around knee braces are helpful for individuals that have what is considered to be a different leg, knee and calf circumference. – This is significant for people, for several reasons!

Swelling Issues

Many times people will have a fluctuation in size due to swelling in and around their knee joint. – A wrap around knee support will give you more of an opportunity to adjust your brace if you ever go up or down in size, or if you want to wear it more loose or snug.

Your Thigh, Knee, and Calf Are Not Common Sizes

If this is the case then a wrap around knee brace can be great for you as well. For example, if your thigh is larger than “the norm” and your knee is “average” while your calf area is quite thin, then you may have problems trying to find a “standard” knee brace. The reason for this difficulty is not because you have a “bad” knee shape, but it is because brace manufacturers make braces based on what they consider to be a “normal” size. – If you anatomical size is not quite the “norm” then these braces will help accommodate your features.

Adjustable

When it comes down to it, if you like your knee brace more snug sometimes, or you like it a little bit looser, for whatever reason, then these braces are great for that… Usually, there is an open knee cap area, and you can also ask for an open “popliteal” area as well. This refers to the area that is located on the back of your leg, opposite the level of your knee cap. – Sometimes people like that because when they bend their knee, they will say that they do not become disturbed by any excess material that may or may not “bunch up” there.

The Benefits of Support

Many times when you improve your knee stability with a well designed knee brace then you will be able to reduce your knee pain as well. Well designed knee supports can help you protect your knee from getting worse, or help protect you from ever hurting your knee’s structural integrity.

The Knee Brace Shop
If you would like to take your knee stability to the next level (affordably) then visit us online today at http://www.drbraceco.com Dr. Brace Co. is an education based site, created by true brace specialists, that can provide helpful information and meaningful support for your knee. If you have questions come to our site and let us know. We will respond.

Article Source: Good Wrap Around Knee Braces – Special Report On Knee Bracing

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There is nothing more frustrating than seeing well-intentioned and motivated people wasting their time at the gym. With a little bit of good information, they could get the results they are working so hard for.

1. USELESS: Slow paced cardio on either the treadmill, cross trainer, stepper or bike.

SOLUTION: Interval training is one of the quickest and most effective ways of losing fat. Interval training is training at a high intensity for a short amount of time and then a low intensity until you’ve recovered, the process is then repeated several times. For example run 30 seconds as fast as you can and then one minute very slow. Do this 5 times to start. Be sure to include a warm up and a cool down. Sessions shouldn’t take more than 20minutes

2. Useless: Sit Ups. These seem to always be a favourite as many dream of having gorgeous toned abs.

Solution: If you want to really work your core and have better chance at toning your abs then try big movements such as squats, lunges and press-ups. Also remember that as long as there is fat over your abs, they won’t be revealed. Proper nutrition is crucial if you really want nice abs.

3. Useless: Machines such as the leg extension, etc.

Solution: Free weights. Using free weights for compound movement exercises such as a squat and press, step-ups or deadlifts will burn far more calories and they’re a bit more interesting than sitting on a machine. Most machines are single movement exercises meaning they only work the muscles around one joint; therefore they burn very few calories. Gyms like them as people can use them with very little instruction.

As a personal trainer I’ve seen it all. It’s amazing that with just a few simple truths and knowledge so many people could be one step closer to their goals; rather than wondering each week why they work so hard to get no where.

If you’ve never used free weights or tried interval training, it could be a bit intimidating at first. It is also crucial that if you do use weights that you use the correct technique. Don’t let this put you off or intimidate you.

Personal Trainers are no longer just for the rich; many people are seeking the help of a trainer. Even just a few sessions to ensure you are doing things correctly will make world of difference when it comes to reaching your goals. If you’re not quite ready for personal trainer then the internet is a great place to start. The industries top trainers all post exercises on youtube. How do you know if you’ve chosen a good site? Read the comments, if they’re not a good trainer, you can be sure that others out there will let them know it.

Go for it. Change what you’re doing. Use these three simple solutions and start reaching your goals.

Rosa Coelho is a highly successful Personal Trainer in London. Rosa is founder of Rocofit Personal Training and specialises in applying a holistic approach to health and fitness. She’s known for getting clients quick results, often beyond what they expected of themselves. Sign up to her FREE newsletter at http://www.rocofit.com/newsletter

Article Source: Going to the gym but not getting results?

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Most of us wish we had whiter teeth. The problem is we don’t always know the best way to go about getting them that way. With so many different options available to us it’s not easy to sort through them all. This article offers the best teeth whitening advice for getting a bright smile that you can be happy with.

There are three major ways you can whiten your teeth. The first is by using natural teeth whitening methods like brushing with baking soda and peroxide and flossing regularly. By keeping your teeth healthy and clean they will stay pretty white. Unfortunately over time, this method alone will give way to stains and discoloration. Natural whitening, especially brushing and flossing, is a necessity to healthy, white teeth, but eventually you’ll probably need to use another method as well.

Which brings us to the second whitening method: home teeth whitening. This method includes a number of specific options such as strips, gels and trays. There are many suitable products that will give you great results, but there are many rip-off products as well. Before purchasing a home whitening product be sure to research them carefully and remember, people respond to treatments differently, so what worked for someone else may not work for you. With that said, when they do work (which is most of the time), home teeth whitening treatments are a great way to go.

For whatever reason, be it not so great results from home treatments, impatience, or fear of treating themselves, some people choose to seek out professional teeth whitening. The cost involved is usually pretty high, but you’ll get lasting results in a short amount of time by choosing to go this route. Not only that, but you can rest easy knowing you’ll be treated by someone with plenty of experience who’s trained in safely whitening teeth. If you can afford it, this is a very good way to whiten your teeth.

The method that is best for you is not always the best choice for others, which is why it’s important that you research all your options thoroughly before deciding. The best teeth whitening advice is to be as knowledgeable as possible and then choose which route to take.

For more on the best teeth whitening methods and techniques for natural teeth whitening be sure to visit Best Teeth Whitening Options.

Article Source: The Best Teeth Whitening Advice for a Bright Smile

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While there is no one cut and dried reason why some people can’t sleep, most experts agree that insomnia is brought on by stress, anxiety, medications, and/or caffeine – among other things. Transient and short-term insomnia has many causes.
A reaction to change or stress is one of the most common causes of short-term and transient insomnia. This condition is sometimes referred to as adjustment sleep disorder.

The precipitating factor could be a major or traumatic event such as the following:

• An acute illness.

• Injury or surgery.

• The loss of a loved one.

• Job loss.

Temporary insomnia could also develop after a relatively minor event, including the following:

• Extremes in weather.

• An exam at school.

• Traveling.

• Trouble at work.

In such cases, normal sleep almost always returns when the condition resolves, the individual recovers from the event, or the person becomes acclimated to the new situation. Treatment is needed if sleepiness interferes with functioning or if it continues for more than a few weeks.

Fluctuations in female hormones play a major role in insomnia in women over their lifetimes. Such insomnia is most often temporary.

The hormone progesterone promotes sleep. Levels of this hormone plunge during menstruation, causing insomnia. When they rise during ovulation, women may become sleepier than usual.

During Pregnancy, the effects of changes in progesterone levels in the first and last trimester can disrupt normal sleep patterns.

Insomnia can be a major problem in the first phases of menopause, when hormones are fluctuating intensely. Insomnia during this period may be due to different factors that occur.

In some women, hot flashes, sweating, and a sense of anxiety can awaken women suddenly and frequently at night during the first months of menopause. In such women, hormone replacement therapy may be beneficial.

Insomnia may also be perpetuated by psychological distress provoked by this life passage. In most cases, insomnia is temporary. Cases of chronic insomnia in women after 50 are more likely to be due to other causes

In one study, 20% of adults reported that light, noise, and uncomfortable temperatures caused their sleeplessness. Depending on the time of day too much or too little light can disrupt sleep. It is well known that a person’s biologic circadian clock is triggered by sunlight and very bright artificial light to maintain wakefulness. One study indicated that even dim artificial light may disrupt sleep.

Insufficient exposure to light during the day, as occurs in some disabled elderly patients who rarely venture outside, may also be linked with sleep disturbances. One study suggests that when a person is exposed to bright daylight, melatonin levels increases in response to darkness at night, which aids sleep.

Read up on more chest exercises at the Chest Workouts website. Find information on bicep and tricep exercises at the Arm Workouts website. For info on more bicep exercises, visit the Bicep Workouts site.

Article Source: A Couple Of Factors That Can Cause Insomnia

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Your lifestyle is the way that you live your life. Although each of these other elements that we’ve already talked about is very important parts of your lifestyle, they are not everything.

Each decision you make throughout the course of the day plays a role in your fitness. Unlike the other chapters, this one will be structured a bit different. Each of these lifestyle considerations is important and each offers a unique spin on the quality of life you will lead. Improve them, and physical fitness increases.

Smoking, Drinking And Drugs
Each of those three things, smoking, drinking and drugs, is a problem for your health and your ability to make it through the life you have. You probably already know the risks of what these things can do to your life, but you may not realize the extent at which it takes to improve them.

For example, smoking will eat away at your lungs and will cause cancer. There are no ifs about it. It will cause cancer eventually in your lungs.

But, smoking is something that you can stop, even if it is one of the hardest things you will have to do. To improve your fitness, find a method to stop smoking and do it. You will find that your health increases, your energy increases, your stress levels DO go down and you can feel better about the life you are living.

When you quit early enough, your body can repair the damage that you have done to your lungs. This can only happen if you stop soon enough, though.

Drinking and drugs are just as bad. Each time that you consume too much alcohol that makes you drunk or you take illegal drugs, you destroy your body slowly and methodically. You kill brain cells, you put your life at risk and you destroy the organs in your body. Some damage can be fixed through healing over time, others can’t.

To improve your lifestyle and to extend your life, you need to remove these problems from it. Smoking and drugs are simply a no no. Drinking alcohol isn’t nearly as bad for you when you drink it in moderation and only when you are drinking low concentrations of alcohol such as in wine rather than in hard liquor or beer.

Sleep

Do you sleep? No, we mean actually lying down and sleeping for 7 to 9 hours per night? Do you wake up rested? If not, then you aren’t getting the right amount of sleep for health. Your lifestyle fitness requires that you get quality sleep each night.

Why is sleep so important? There are actually several reasons. For one, sleep is the body’s time to relax and to recoup what it’s done all day. You need this time for your mind to. It’s the way that your mind works through problems. It’s the time that your body heals from the exertions of the day.

It’s a time to restart, refresh and give yourself the best chance at improving tomorrow.

Those that don’t get enough sleep are not capable of performing at their best physical or mental level. They aren’t able to improve the level at which they can function and they make bad mistakes. Stress hurts more, physical ailments hinder you more when you don’t get enough sleep.

If you are having problems with sleeping, there are many ways that you can overcome them.

• Reducing stress levels during the day is helpful as is working out the stresses that you can’t get rid of.

• Try to go to sleep at the same time everyday and give yourself as much time as necessary to feel rested.

• Don’t do stimulating things before bed such as watching television or working on a project.

• Don’t eat before bed, at least two hours beforehand.

If you are facing problems with insomnia or are struggling to get to sleep, talk to your doctor about it. There may be an underlying medical condition that could be causing it.

While it used to be that there were only sleeping medications that were addicting, today there are many that are not like that which can offer you a night’s rest. Don’t use these unless your doctor has Okayed them for you, though!

Read up on rules of netball at the Netball Rules website. Find information on back pain causes at the Middle Back Pain website. For info on prevention of mumps, visit the Mumps Symptoms site.

Article Source: Change Your Lifestyle And Become Fit

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Does Your Child Snore?

Posted: 2nd July 2009 by admin in HEALTHY LIVING DRUG FREE
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Occasional snoring may be normal to children. Recent studies show that 3 to 12 percent of children between the age of 1 and 9 snore. But frequency doesn’t mean normality. Habitual snoring can be a cause of a more serious medical condition called obstructive sleep apnea syndrome (OSAS) or simply, sleep apnea.

Sleep apnea is a condition characterized by loud snoring with periods of breathing interruptions. Interruptions may be short or prolonged, usually between 5 to 30 seconds. During this period, the child’s could not get straight sleep. He rouses and moves to another sleeping position, then resumes sleep. After a while he will once again begin snoring. This activity often happens several times during the night, each night. Although this condition rarely appears on children, it is very important that parents should watch out for symptoms that come along with it.

Symptoms of sleep apnea include

• Poor speech habits – talking that sounds like words over a mouthful of hot potato.

• Reduced growth rate. Children suffering from sleep apnea use more energy in breathing during the night. During meals, they tend to eat slowly since it is hard for them to breathe and chew at the same time. The result is, they have insufficient nutrients to support their growth.

• Hyperactivity. Lack of sleep can cause drowsiness on children during the day. To stay awake, children act frantically.

• Poor performance in school. Since children do not get the right sleep during the night, they tend to appear tired and lack the concentration to focus at school, thus, having a poor performance.

When these symptoms are visible, it is imperative for parents to bring their child to a pediatrician and have him examined. A child can be happy and smiling when he is brought to the doctor and therefore, it is difficult to diagnose if he really has sleep apnea. Parents are advised to record their child’s snoring so that the doctor can analyze the situation in actually.

Meanwhile, sleep apnea is not the sole reason why children snore. Other reasons include allergy attack, obesity, asthma, and enlargement of adenoids and/or tonsils caused by cold or tonsillitis.

Some allergy attacks can cause swelling on the linings of the nose that can direct to the enlargement of adenoids. This keeps the child from breathing normally. This causes the child to snore. After the allergy attack, the snoring stops.

Obesity can also lead to snoring. In fact, 20% and 40% of the obese children snore. This is because fats can form around the throat that can cause constriction and makes the limited airways. Also, fats in the stomach can cause the diaphragm to function irregularly

Asthma is said to be another cause why children snore. A study revealed that 40% of the children diagnosed with asthma snore.

Enlargement of adenoids and/or tonsils caused by cold or tonsillitis also results to snoring. While cold or tonsillitis can be cured by decongestant and antibiotics, adenoid enlargement is treated by surgical procedure to remove adenoids and tonsils.

Underdevelopment of the jaw inside the womb can cause snoring as well. There is also the possibility that the nerves and the muscles cannot control the airway properly and cause that child to snore.

Everything on rules of netball can be found at the Netball Rules website. Visit the Middle Back Pain website to find information on back pain causes. Drop by the Mumps Symptoms website to read about prevention of mumps.

Article Source: Does Your Child Snore?

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While many people have heard the term Lasik, not very many people truly understand what it comprises. Lasik stands for Laser-Assisted In Situ Keratomileusis, which is obviously a very large mouthful. To most people, this means very little to you. In more simple terms, LASIK eye surgery is when the surgeon uses a laser to change the shape of your cornea, which results in improved vision.

The cornea focuses light that enters your eye and then bends and focuses that light to produce an image on your retina. Unfortunately, sometimes a person’s ability to focus light is diminished (usually due to a mismatch between the cornea’s ability to focus light and the length of the eye). As a result, a person’s vision may be blurred or distorted.

During the actual LASIK procedure, a tiny cut in made in the cornea, which results in a small flap. This flap is then folded back. Once this has been accomplished, a surgeon will use a laser to vaporize a small portion of the cornea (called a stroma). After enough of the stroma has been removed, the surgeon then folds the flap back up. As a result, the cornea is now reshaped resulting in an improved ability to focus and bend light, which results in an improved image on the retina.

When this occurs, a doctor will diagnose a patient with refractive errors. In order to remedy this situation, other than LASIK eye surgery, there are two other primary refractive procedures that one can undergo. The first is RK, which is Radial keratotomy. During this procedure, tiny incisions are made in the cornea to flatten it slightly. The second procedure is called PRK, which is Photorefractive keratotomy. This procedure is very similar to LASIK. The main difference is that in PRK, the laser is used on the outside of the cornea.

Tom Jenkins owns the Michigan LASIK Guide. This website provides information on the various facets of having LASIK in Michigan, such as properly defining What is LASIK to how to find a good LASIK surgeon.

Article Source: The Lasik Procedure and What it Comprises

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The human liver is one of the most important organs of the body. It is responsible for cleaning our internal organs of the entire gunk and bile that is deposited by a person on a regular basis. But conditions like Gilbert’s disease and other forms of liver disease makes our livers weak and prone to breaking down.

To understand better how the liver is affected by different kinds of diseases and the impact of these conditions to our body. Liver disease is a general term used in describing any kind of sickness affecting the liver. Many of theses conditions are accompanied by jaundice caused by the heightened levels of bilirubin in the system. The bilirubin is the product of the breakup of the hemoglobin of dead red blood cells; usually, the liver takes away bilirubin from the blood and excretes it through bile.

The following are some of the known conditions that are considered as liver diseases:

- Hepatitis. This is the inflammation of the liver. This caused mainly by different kinds of viruses, there are also times that it is caused by some poisons, even hereditary conditions.

- Cirrhosis. This is the formation of fibrous tissue in the liver, the fibrous tissue takes the place of dead liver cells.

- Haemochromatosis. This is a hereditary disease caused by too much iron in the body causing liver damage.

- Cancer of the liver. This is usually coming from other parts of the body that is also affected by cancer. Usually, when cancer cells metastasis, it reaches the liver and it starts spreading from there.

- Wilson’s disease. This condition is hereditary and copper deposits in the body cause it.

- Budd-Chiari syndrome. This is caused by the obstruction of the person’s hepatic vein.

- Gilbert’s syndrome. This is a genetic disorder of bilirubin metabolism, found in about 5 percent of the population.

- Glycogen storage disease type II. Here, the build-up of glycogen causes progressive tissue weakness (myopathy) throughout the body and affects various body tissues, particularly in the heart, skeletal muscles, liver and nervous system.

There are also many pediatric liver diseases, including biliary atresia, alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency, alagille syndrome, and progressive familial intrahepatic cholestasis, to name but a few.

A number of liver function tests are available to test the proper function of the liver. These test for the presence of enzymes in blood that are normally most abundant in liver tissue, metabolites or products.

Symptoms of a diseased liver

There are a few external signs that we could include to determine a diseased liver, some of those external signs are a coated tongue, bad breath, skin rashes, itchy skin, excessive sweating, offensive body odor, dark circles under the eyes, red swollen and itchy eyes, acne rosacea, brownish spots and blemishes on the skin, flushed facial appearance or excessive facial blood vessels.

There are other symptoms to look out for and they include jaundice, dark urine, pale stool, bone loss, easy bleeding, itching, small, spider-like blood vessels visible in the skin, enlarged spleen, fluid in the abdominal cavity, chills, pain from the biliary tract or pancrea, and an enlarged gallbladder.

The improper digestion and absorption of fats may lead to symptoms that include indigestion, reflux, hemorrhoids, gall stones, intolerance to fatty foods, intolerance to alcohol, nausea and vomiting attacks, abdominal bloating, and constipation. Unfortunately, some liver diseases like Gilbert’s disease are known to share symptoms with other liver diseases. So it’s better to consult a professional.

Interested in symptoms of perimenopause? Visit the Perimenopause Symptoms website. For detailed information on monkeys as pets, go to the Pet Monkeys website. Stop by the Picnic Ideas website for details on ideas for picnics.

Article Source: Different Type Of Liver Diseases

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 10 years, it is likely that you are familiar with a quirky little television program known as The Oprah Show.

If you watch the program often, you may have seen an episode in which they discussed the Law of Attraction Because the theory is so cutting-edge, the principle of the Law of Attraction can seem somewhat difficult to grasp if you don’t know the whole story.

The concept at the heart of the Law of Attraction is that we can control what life gives us by controlling our thoughts. The ideas cover everything from getting the job you want to getting the mate you want. People in both the scientific and spiritual communities accept the Law of Attraction as fact.

If you talk to a Quantum Mechanics scientist, you can discover the true depth of what the Law of Attraction is getting at. Quantum Physics demonstrates that the whole world is made up of energy, and our minds — which are also energy — can manipulate the energy of objects and thoughts outside ourselves.

But as you know, everything good has a reverse, and this includes the Law of Attraction. If you want something, but think about being afraid of NOT getting it, then there is a good chance that what you want to avoid will actually happen. Experiencing what we want to avoid may not seem like a good thing, and it isn’t, but it does help prove the principle of the Law of Attraction. When the relationship ends, it may seem to that person that the Law of Attraction failed them. Their desire to stop the marriage from ending didn’t come true. But in fact, the Law of Attraction worked perfectly. It doesn’t necessarily bring us what we WANT. It brings us what we CONCENTRATE ON. The married spouse concentrated on not wanting to lose their partner, and thus they attracted losing their partner.

There is no difference between what you concentrate on wanting and what you concentrate on not wanting. Concentration is concentration. So the Law of Attraction brings you the thing you focused your thoughts on.

To create the life you want using the Law of Attraction, you must banish all fear and concentrate only on moving toward exactly what you want. If you do, then what you want will move toward you, as well.

Kirk James is a technical writer, researcher, software developer, and happily married man. Understanding the heart of the law of attraction started him on his road to success, but it wasn’t until he understood the 11 Forgotten Laws of Attraction that the world became his for the taking. Discover the secrets that finally turned on the light of attraction at http://www.forgotten-laws-of-attraction.com.

Article Source: The Central Principle of the Law of Attraction

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Early in my career I discovered a phenomenon which you may well recognize in your own area of work. It turned out to be a powerful way to lead and inspire.

My first job was a software developer and this entailed fixing bugs in programs. Sometimes a bug was really hard to find and, with a big program, a day or two could pass without finding it. In frustration I would call on a colleague and ask him to help.

As he sat by my desk I would start to explain the fault and what the correct outcome should be. He listened closely and after five or ten minutes, without him having said a word, I would suddenly see the flaw in the program and how to fix it!

Simply by giving me attention, my colleague was able to influence my thinking for the better. By receiving that attention, I was able to achieve in ten minutes what had eluded me for two days! I also discovered it works the other way round too – I could give attention to help someone else.

This phenomenon is at the heart of Nancy Kline’s great book ‘Time To Think’. She puts it like this: “When someone is thinking around you, much of the quality of what you are hearing is your effect on them. In fact, the quality of your attention determines the quality of other people’s thinking”

Notice she refers to the quality of attention – if it is high quality then the influence on the other person enhances their thinking. However, if the attention is poor quality, then it exerts a negative influence on the other person.

You can prove this for yourself. Think back to when you were trying to interact well with other people and subjected to poor attention. For example, you may have been speaking in a meeting or presentation when members of the group were not paying attention. Or you may recall a social situation when you were trying to tell a story and your thinking became muddled and your speaking was tongue-tied because people were not showing interest.

So what’s all this got to do with inspiring others?

Imagine you give quality attention to the people around you. You listen closely, ask questions and show a genuine interest. You respect each person as an individual and you are sensitive to what is important to them.

In those moments, you will be determining the quality of their thinking and they will notice. It can lift them from the habitual, the mundane and the frustrating towards new perspectives and possibilities. They will be able to connect with more of their latent potential – for most people, this is inspiring!

Remember it is quality of attention that counts, not simply quantity. You don’t have to sit down with someone for 2 hours to pay them attention. Charismatic leaders show that you can develop high quality attention to a fine art. Even if a conversation lasts only a few minutes, you can let the other person know that they are valued by the close attention you give.

Trevor helps people who want to inspire themselves and inspire others. If you would like to receive regular articles like this one or get a FREE copy of Trevor’s ‘Passport To Inspiration’ simply sign-up at
http://www.inspiration-at-work.co.uk

Article Source: Inspire Others – The Impact Of Attention

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“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.” – Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

Underneath any unwanted self-sabotaging pattern of behavior is fear. These undesirable experiences can include career self-sabotage, any form of addiction, workaholic or shopaholic lifestyles, a series of bad relationships in your personal and professional life and constant financial struggles.

Repeating the past and making the same mistakes is repetition compulsion. You are repeating the past, making the same mistakes, and constantly complaining about the results and yet we keep doing it! Why do people keep repeating bad experiences over and over again? Because, even though unwanted, this perpetual state of circumstance has become the comfort zone. People cling to comfort zones because they are known, familiar, and therefore ‘safe’. Moving beyond comfort zones into new territory, even if desired, is a scary prospect.

Repeating past experiences involves recreating the same dynamics that you experienced as a child. If your childhood was filled with conditioning that invalidated your authenticity as a creative spirit, then you may be more comfortable living with people who invalidate you as an artist as an adult. You may have been told repeatedly that you could never earn a living as an actor, painter, drummer in a band or novelist. You pick a partner who tells you to put aside your passion and go get a ‘real job’. This is repeating the past. If you spent your childhood as the good kid who didn’t cause trouble and always minded her manner, you may be inclined to make people happy and have become the perpetual obsequious people pleaser. Again, you’re repeating your past and making the same mistake.

Unwanted repeated patterns of behavior often involves getting into business relationships with people who take advantage of you, or accepting jobs that don’t offer a chance of promotion or professional development. Repeating the past is pursuing the same dead ends over and over again, or engaging in the same self-destructive behavior. It’s making the same mistakes. To stop repeating the past, you must first determine if you are repeating the past.

The place to begin is to discover what stops you from moving beyond a comfort zone that is clearly not working for you. What are you afraid of? What could happen if you change the way you show up in your world? What would it mean to live centered in the truth of who you are, authentically, and in integrity with your passions and dreams for your future?

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” – Jim Morrison

Fear is a question. What are you afraid of and why? Your fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if you explore them. Fear often shows up in the form of the woefully misguided Inner Critic. Your Inner Critic works hard to keep you safe, keep you in that comfort zone. If you try to move beyond the comfort zone the Inner Critic will serve up fear and drama to pull you back to where it believes you will be safe.

The goal isn’t to get rid of this Inner Critic, this fear. The goal is to recognize it when it presents itself, examine it and master the fear so you can effectively transition into newer and better patterns of behavior. One way to tell that you are making choices and acting from a place of fear is when you are Finding Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) to do or not do something so that you can ultimately stay right where you are, hold yourself back.

Here are 4 steps to examine your self-sabotaging pattern of behavior.

1. State the pattern, the repeating unwanted experience.

Unwanted experiences can include unsupportive or even damaging personal and business relationships or performance anxiety of any kind including stage performances, auditions, interviews, networking, presenting your work to a person of authority and calling up your agent.

2. Examine the beliefs and thought processes that lead to the choices and actions that created the unwanted experience. Ask yourself, “What within me is creating this experience over and over again?”

Common fear based thoughts and beliefs include a fear of criticism or rejection that are stated in as an “I’m not ________ (talented, smart, young, pretty, experienced, etc.) enough”.

2. Test the validity of the underlying fear.

Is the fear true? Is it absolutely true? Can you identify any experience where you were, indeed – enough? Can you identify other people or other events that fly in the face of this belief? For example, if you are over 40 and you believe there are no roles for actors over 40 can to find any examples of actors over 40 who are working steadily in their craft? What specific circumstances trigger your fear? Is there a pattern? Can you think of an early experience of this fear? What happened?

3. What would your life be like if you didn’t cling onto your comfort zone? Who would you be, what would you have, what could you do if you didn’t have this fear running you?

Imagine and visualize yourself showing up in your life every day as that person. Try it on even if only as a costume at first. What choice would a person living that life make as the events of your day unfolds?

4. Check how you feel.

Your emotions are indicators of whether you’ve moved into or out of fear. Simply stated, you don’t feel good when you are functioning from a place of fear. You can experience that sick in the pit of your stomach feeling, physical symptoms such as sweaty palms or a desire to Fuggedabout Everything And Run (F.E.A.R.). From now on this feeling is a signal to you to stop and take a moment to deliberately and clearly make a newer and better choice; a choice that will result in a different action that will deliver a better outcome, a different experience that breaks the unwanted pattern of behavior from the past.

If you’re feeling good about yourself, your potential and the opportunities available to you then you are mastering your fear. You are headed in the direction of your dreams. You have moved beyond the old unwanted comfort zone into a new zone that supports your desires. If at some point you notice that you slipped back into that not so good feeling of fear just know that you are reacting to the voice of that frightened little Inner Critic who is still scared of this new way of being. Calm it down as you would a 4 year old and show this Inner Critic that you are still very safe even if you venture into newer and bigger experiences.

“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.”- Marilyn Ferguson

Copyright (c) 2009 Valery Satterwhite

Valery is a Mentor who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can move beyond the struggles that often come packaged with the life of a visual & performing artist. Clients learn how to express their full potential deliberately & responsibly to create more passionately, profoundly, productively and profitably. Empower the Wizard Within to express your full creative potential. http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips”!

Article Source: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Fear: A 4 Step Process

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When it comes to baby gates for stairs, it seems like you have an endless array of choices. There are all kinds of different child safety gates, but the truth is, in order to protect your child you need to buy the right type of gate.

Many parents don’t realize the importance that a baby gate that is installed properly can provide. Thousands of babies and toddlers are injured or killed each year from accidents such as falling down the stairs. Sadly, the vast majority was preventable.

When you are at the point of needing baby gates for stairs, be sure you buy a hardware mounted safety gate. Do not rely on a pressure-mounted gate. Here’s why.

A pressure mounted baby gate is perfect for room-to-room use. It keeps your toddler in one area and gives you peace of mind. But it does not provide strength when pressing up against it. Around the stairs your child could be leaning up against it or trying to climb it when all of a sudden it gives way. Don’t let that happen to you.

A hardware mounted baby gate has the screws and brackets to permanently attach itself to the wall or frame. The added strength means you won’t have to be as concerned about it giving way. If you have an odd sized opening you can purchase installation kits that will help with mounting. There are also extension kits that will allow you to secure a much larger opening.

One other tip when using baby gates for stairs is to always keep an eye on your child. Yes, the gate will protect them, but as they get older they will undoubtedly try and climb it. Double check that the gate door is latched closed as well. You would be surprised at how often it’s not.

Next, go to this website at Baby Gates For Stairs where you will find information, reviews and ratings on every kind of baby safety gate. http://www.BabyGatesForStairs.com

Article Source: Baby Gates For Stairs – What You Should Know

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Divorce causes many headaches related to finding a babysitter.

While married parents may be jealous of how nice it must be to be able to schedule most of one’s social life around when the kids are gone with the other parent every other weekend, there are more hassles finding childcare for single and divorced parents.

Being completely child-free and with no child care issues every-other weekend may be the best perk of being divorced if you have kids, but having to never leave the house any other time without first arranging some sort of child care arrangement can be a nightmare.

A friend I know works very odd shifts and found it almost impossible for a daycare to be open when she actually needed help. The teenagers in her area were so flaky, she could hardly trust them to babysit even in a pinch.

Luckily, some single parents have found alternate choices to help ease the burden.
Some options that work are:

1. Organizing babysitting cooperatives in your area. They coordinate their schedules so that they completely eliminate their childcare expenses, have some free time without kids and help each other even though odd shifts.

2. Try online for babysitters. There are online matching services that match local babysitters to parents just like a dating service matches partners. There are even backgrounds checks to avoid any scary or flaky choices!

3. Trade services. I take a friends children home from school for a few hours every week and, in turn, she provides me with free haircuts and coloring because she works for a great salon! Try seeing what you can trade with friends for babysitting and you may come out ahead and end the nightmare!

If you need help finding the right sitter for your family, visit http://www.SittercityReview.com for more information.

Article Source: Babysitting a Nightmare for Divorced Parents

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Everyone has heard the horror stories of child abuse at the hands of an au pair or other type daycare provider. You don’t want your children to become victims. You can take measures to ensure, to the best of your ability, that this doesn’t happen.

There are many, many considerations you will need to weigh heavily before you deposit your child in the hands of a stranger. Below are some issues you’ll want to deliberate on when selecting a daycare provider:

* Will you hire someone to come in and watch your children, or will you take your kids to a daycare provider? Regardless, you’ll need to make sure that the daycare provider is a U.S. citizen, or that the daycare provider has legal papers to work in the U.S.
* If taking your children to a daycare center or provider, do you want the location to be near where you live or where you work?
* Is it important to you to have your child around a lot of other children or just a few?
* Make a list of your preferences.
* Ask neighbors, friends and family members if they know of a good provider.
* Call Childcare Aware Hotline at (800) 424-2246 to find a local provider network near you. The local provider network will refer you to local registered or licensed daycare providers.
* Once you have decided where you want your daycare provider located (near home or work), decide on three providers to research. Prioritize your list from one to three based on the limited information you have about the providers.
* If considering an in-home daycare:
* How old is the daycare provider? Sometimes it works out better for you if the daycare provider is around your own age. You may have more in common and have a better rapport with someone who is closer to your own age.
* Check the ages of the children in the daycare. It is typically a more conducive environment for your child if there are other children your own child’s age.
* Talk to the daycare provider and obtain the following information:
* At least three references of parents who have used the daycare for over a year.
* Find out if you can you drop by unannounced at anytime. If not, ditch the daycare. If so, visit several times unannounced at different periods over several weeks’ time – e.g., during after snack time, during lunch, during naptime. Make sure one of your visits is when parents are dropping off their children, so you can talk to the parents. Ask them why they use the center and how satisfied they are with the care provided.
* Tour the daycare center. Is there a play area outside with play equipment? Is there also a designated play area inside? Is there a separate area for the babies as opposed to the older children? Several baby beds? Is there a separate quiet nap area for the older children? Mats for napping?
* Ask about learning activities for your child’s age. Request the weekly agenda of activities and menu for meals. Make sure you visit during one of these events and meals.
* Does your child have any special needs? If so, make sure the provider is able to accommodate them.
* Is the daycare provider licensed? If the state in which you live requires licensing, then do your homework and check with the state to see if the daycare provider is licensed. Also, ask if there are any noted problems with the daycare. There are typically some exceptions to the day care licensing laws – e.g., two or less children 20 hours or less a week, providing care for relatives.
* Is the daycare provider insured? You’ll want to ask for a copy of their insurance of certificate, and call their insurance provider to make sure it is currently in force.
* Also, do a search on the Internet for any positive or negative information on the daycare center and its director. It is possible you may find something.
* There are childcare associations that require accountability that you may want to inquire of like the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) or the National Association of Family Child Care (NAFCC). If your daycare provider is a member, you are fortunate.

You can’t cover all the bases. You can, however, do your due diligence to find the most qualified daycare provider possible for your child. Once you’ve done your part, decide on the daycare provider that meets most, if not all, of your expectations.

It doesn’t end there. Remember to drop in unannounced occasionally throughout the timeframe your child is being cared for in the daycare. If you find consistent care, this will ensure your confidence that the daycare provider you chose is the right one.

Insidedallasrealestate is a site devoted to the Dallas real estate market. It has a search of the Dallas MLS along with updated market stats on their real estate blog.

Article Source: How to Find a Good Daycare Provider

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American Dads: A Changing Role

Posted: 2nd July 2009 by admin in HEALTHY LIVING DRUG FREE
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In the past, the role of American dad was largely as the family breadwinner and disciplinarian. Today more and more dads are actively participating in parenting from childbirth to day-to-day basics. As dads staying at home gains more social, the prevalence of stay-at-home dads is.

Attitudes among dads are also changing albeit slowly. There are still many misconceptions that dads aren’t as capable of taking care of young children as mothers or that stay-at-home dads are a last resort instead of a willing choice. For more on the social acceptability and the misconceptions of stay-at-home dads, read magazines that cover American culture like Time, Newsweek and Rolling Stone magazine.

In fact, the U.S. Census Bureau estimates that 159,000 dads in the United States are stay-at-home-dads out of a total of 64.3 million fathers. Stay-at-home dads are not just an American phenomenon. In both the United Kingdom and Japan stay-at-home dads are portrayed in recent novels and television programs. For more on international statistics of stay-at-home dads read The Economist.

The U.S. Census Bureau defines stay-at-home-dads as married fathers with children under 15-years-old who have stayed out of the labor force for more than one year primarily so they can care for the family while their wives work outside the home.

There are several different reasons fathers and families decide the father will stay home and care for children. The most common is economic, perhaps the father is unable to work or the mother earns more money. Also, many stay-at-home dads work from home; with the rise in Internet-related jobs and freelancing jobs many fathers—and mothers—have the ability to work from home rather than a traditional out-of-the-home office.

Although the stay-at-home-dad is not a new idea, the widespread frequency of them is a recent phenomenon. Hollywood tackled the subject more than 25 years ago in the 1983 comedy “Mr. Mom,” starring Michael Keaton as a dad who stays home with his kids after he loses his job and his wife find success in an advertising career. More recently, Hollywood again address the subject of stay-at-home dads with the comedy “Daddy Day Care” starring Eddie Murphy. In “Daddy Day Care” two dads lose their jobs and become stay-at-home-dads; to make the best of the situation the dads decide to open their own daycare facility. For more on movies depicting stay-at-home dads, read entertainment magazines like Entertainment Weekly, Interview and Good Housekeeping magazine.

For more magazines, visit http://www.magazines.com/category/lifestyle.

Jessica Vandelay is a freelance writer in New York City.

Article Source: American Dads: A Changing Role

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When you make the decision to hire someone to take care of your child, it should be one of those decisions that you will want to ponder a while. What is more important than your children? With society the way it is today, you never can fully know a person just by talking to them or meeting them. Thus, getting a nanny background check is paramount before hiring a nanny. A nanny will spend a significant amount of time with your child.

They will be the one that has the most access to your child. They will be the one your child trusts. Isn’t it wise to get a nanny background check and feel secure that your child is safe? It is difficult enough leaving your child with a total stranger, but what if they had other motives. It’s just not enough to trust your instincts. It is imperative you get a complete background check.

Here are some steps you can take:

1. Ask for at least three references. Contact all of them and ask questions.

2. Let them fill out an application that includes location and date of birth, driver’s license number, previous names, last five employers, names, addresses and phone numbers of close relatives, names of colleges/schools attended and dates, and last three addresses. Plus, anything else you would like to know.

3. Let them know you will do a background check and have them sign a statement authorizing you to do so. If they are not willing to do this, would you really want to trust your kids with them?

4. Call relatives to verify the relationship. Call previous employers and find out if the information given was true and what they thought of their work.

Finally, verify the information given using a Nanny Background Check service.

Article Source: Nanny Background Check – Isn’t Your Child Worth It?

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I am not sure which would impact me the most, first hearing that my child was a child bully, or hearing that my child was a bully victim! Both situations are ones that most parents dread having to ever hear about their child. Similar, yet different. Involving the same social problem, yet impacting the child in different ways. To put things another way, the child has assumed the role in their social ranking as either the prey or the predator.

As a parent, it is our responsibility to take action should we find out that our child has been accused of tormenting and intimidating other children. Ideally it would be helpful if we could have some insight into the fact that there may be a behavior problem, before we have to find out from someone else, such as the dreaded phone call from the school, police, or hearing it through the neighbourhood “grapevine”. What we need are some helpful child bully guidelines to help identify this potential behavior problem.

How you react to this unpleasant news that your child is a bully will set the tone for all future dealings between you and your child over this problem. Outrage and threats will in most situations only make things worse and sever the much needed lines of open and honest communication between you and your child. Instead, take a deep breath, clear your mind and carefully plan your next move. Use your mind, rather than your heart, to move forward.

Consider the following “action steps” if you are unsure of what to do if your child is bullying others.

Action Steps For Parents

Action Step #1: Remain Calm

Upon learning that your child is bullying, remain calm and focus on getting as many facts, not opinions, as possible about the incident before discussing it with your child. If school related, then talk to the teacher or other school staff involved to find out what exactly happened.

Action Step #2: Set Expectations

Discuss in very clear terms the kind of behavior you expect to see from your child and that bullying of any kind, verbal or physical, is inappropriate and unacceptable.

Action Step #3: Ask Why

Provide your child with the opportunity to explain why they felt the need to bully another child. This can easily lead into a discussion of other non-aggressive ways that your child could have dealt with the situation, or more appropriate ways of expressing their feelings.

Action Step #4: Change Places

It is important for the child bully to learn to show empathy towards their victim. Discuss how the targeted child must have felt when being attacked and how they would have felt being the victim. Impress on your child that no one deserves to be bullied, no matter what the circumstances.

Action Step #5: Mending Fences

Clearly a wrong has been committed against another child. Talk about ways that your child could make amends for what they did. Encourage a face to face verbal apology along with an assurance to the victim that this will not happen again.

Some parents mistakenly believe that buying a “gift” for the victim on behalf of their child will solve the problem. Big mistake, as the child bully is showing no personal responsibility for their inappropriate behavior as they see mom or dad buying them out of trouble.

Action Step #6: Rules and Consequences

Part of your action plan must include very clear rules and consequences should the bullying behavior continue. Rules may include after school and weekend curfews, where and who the child is allowed to hang out with, and any other actions that will allow you to monitor their behavior.

Consequences must be reasonable and meaningful to the child. For example a
consequence of no TV for a week if caught bullying, means little to a child that has access to online chat, games, X-Box, or Playstation during their “grounded time”.

Avoid at all times any consequences that involve physical force such as spankings, as these may actually reinforce the aggressive behavior, that the use of physical force is an acceptable way to solve a problem.

Action Step #7:Goals and Feedback

Don’t think that you can change the bullying behaviors of your child over night or in a week. Such behaviors are learned over extended periods of time, depending upon the age of the child, and will take perhaps months or years to completely disappear.

For now, set some short term goals that the child can realistically meet. Depending on the situation, perhaps a day or a week at a time without any reports of bullying behavior. Don’t forget to praise your child not only for meeting the goals, but also for making an effort when things don’t go well.

Action Step #8:Communication

As you embark on a course of action to support your child in dealing with their
inappropriate behavior problem, remember to let others know what you are doing such as the child’s school and teacher, neighbours, and even other people that your child may have contact with such as a sports coach. You cannot be with your child 24 hours per day, 7 days a week, so these people can act as your eyes and ears in the community. Keeping watch on your child and offering their support should the child be tempted to engage in bullying behavior when you are not around.

Action Step #9:Look in the Mirror

Many of us forget that we are behavior models for our children from a very young age. Do we exhibit any types of inappropriate behavior in front of our children that may have contributed to their development into a child bully? If we use verbal abuse and/or physical violence in our home to solve problems, what messages are we sending to our child. “Do as I say, not as I do” is a poor message for any child. As parents we need to be consistently role modeling the types of good behavior we want to see in our children, especially for the child bully.

Finally, I would encourage you to keep things in perspective regarding child bullying. Research as well as common sense supports the fact that most children, at some time in their life, do bully other children occasionally due to stress. Reasons may include:

1. Sibling rivalry (we have this lots at my house!) :)
2. Stress from school work.
3. Upset about problems in the home.
4. Death of a family member.
5. Break up of the family unit.
6. Relationship problems outside the family.
7. Simple boredom (yep, see this one at my house too!) :)
8. Frustrated over an on-going problem in their life.
9. Just having a “bad” day and need to vent on someone.

Bullying due to these kinds of incidents, is still wrong, and needs to be addressed by the parent. The good news is that with some discussion about the inappropriate behavior and reasonable consequences, the child will usually see the error of their ways and be willing to made amends to the offended party. This type of child is not the one that we need to worry about as parents.

Unfortunately, there are children out there, who for many different reasons seem to be involved in repeated incidents of bullying, both in the home and outside, at school, the playground, etc. These children may exhibit some of the following characteristics:

1. Exhibit aggressive behavior most of the time.
2. Display a lack of self-control.
3. Enjoy any situation involving violence.
4. Have a low opinion of themselves.
5. Like to “stir things up”.
6. Refuse to take ownership of their inappropriate behavior.
7. Unlikely to feel sorry for the victim.
8. May be victims of bullying themselves.
9. Find it difficult to socialize normally with other children.

These are the children who are most “at risk” and need the support of the parents and society in general to help them deal with their over aggressive behavior towards other children now, and perhaps other adults later in life.

If you are looking for more information about children who bully, visit Barry Kareful’s bullying prevention website for additional information and resources on the child bully.

Article Source: 9 Action Steps for Dealing with the Child Bully

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Swimming in an ocean on uncertainty and without a compass. That is the feeling of millions of people caught in this financial turmoil. House prices falling, unemployment figures soaring and banks holding onto their cash is a scenario that no one wants to see themselves in.

However, some good news is starting to emerge and economists announced that the PMI (purchasing manager’s index ) had an unexpected increase. In case you are unfamiliar about what PMI is just bear in mind that this index is a very important indicator for the financial markets and when an increase is detected it means that there was a signal of growth.

There was an increase showing that there was an increase in services activity caused by an expansion in new business. Figures rose to 51.7 which is above the 50-mark, a clear line that divides contraction from expansion. It means that the economy is showing the first signs of recovery.

Economists are static with the unexpected growth and they are predicting that the economy will return to growth in the third quarter of this year.

The fact is, the economy is going to go up again so we have to make sure that we don’t sink because of our debts. This especially includes homeowners who are in imminent of losing their homes due to unemployment or rising debts.

Sell and rent back scheme is an alternative way to go through the difficult times without having to face the horrific situation of losing your property. The idea is very simple and very efficient. The homeowner sells the property and then rent it back from the investor.

The benefits of the sell and rent back scheme is that any homeowner can have the opportunity to sort out their finances paying all their debts without having to move and best of all without being repossessed.

The additional benefit of the sell and rent back scheme is that the homeowner can buy the house back in the future when the recession has passed and their finances are in place again. The buy back option is extremely fair and well structured. When the homeowner sells the property it is possible to request a buy back option where price and timeline is agreed in advance.

The whole process is very fair for the homeowners because it allows them to buy the house back with a discounted price. Simply put it means that when the house prices rise again it won’t affect their ability to buy the house back as they already have a fixed price lower than its true value.

Don’t risk being repossessed. Choose an alternative and secure path to go down during the financial hardship like the sell and rent back scheme but don’t forget to request a buy back option. The equity in your home is yours so don’t give it away.

For lots more information on the sell and rent back scheme or how to sell your home fast go to http://www.beeseproperties.com

Article Source: Sell and Rent Back: How Your Property Can Help In A Recession

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Child support modification is a procedure whereby either parent can ask the Court to change the Court ordered child support amount. During a divorce the Judge orders a specific amout of child support to be paid by the non custodial parent.

After the divorce proceedings and child support Order either parents situation may change signicantly which may be grounds for filing for child support modification. Each state has uniform child support guidelines that consider certain factors when calculating child support.

Below are some of the factors that are taken into consideration by the Court when determining child support payments:

1. Number of subject children

2. Number of children age 12 or over

3. Number of overnights children spend with non custodial parent

4. Non custodial parent’s gross monthly income

5. Monthly child support paid by non-custodial parent for children from a previous marriage

6. Monthly alimony support received by non-custodial parent from a previous marriage

7. Amount of monthly alimony support paid by non-custodial parent from a previous marriage

8. Monthly daycare cost paid by non-custodial parent

9 Monthly cost of family group health insurance paid by non-custodial parent 

10. Gross monthly income of custodial parent

11. Amount of monthly child support paid by custodial parent for children from a previous marriage

12. Amount of monthly alimony support received by custodial parent from a previoius marriage

13. Amount of monthly alimony support paid by custodial parent from a previous marriage

14. Monthly daycare cost paid by custodial parent

15. Monthly cost of family group health insurance paid by Custodial Parent

While it is ultimately up to the court to determine the child support amount, if any of the above factors have changed significantly child support modification should be considered.

Many non-custodial parents have very strong feelings about their child support payment obligation and will go many a mile to avoid reducing payments. However, it is important to remember that if the non-custodial parent gets behind in payments the may face jail time. Sitting in jail is not good for the parent child relationship and should be avoided whenever possible.

The best time to approach the court to reduce child support payments is when there have been significant changes in either the custodial or non custodial parent’s financial picture, and while support payments are current. If payments are in arrears the custodial parent may try to claim the need for modification is not real and only an attempt by the custodial parent to deflect attention from the arrearages.

In summary, if either parent’s financial picture has significantly changed it might be wise to approach the court with a petition for child support modification as early as possible.

Article Source: Child Support Modification – When Will It Help You?

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Recent studies have shown that perfectionist attitudes do actually interfere with success. This attitude can actually rob you of the feeling of satisfaction, whilst at the same time creating an enormous fear of failure. This in turn becomes a barrier to even starting a task – you do not even “get past go”. If this is happening to you then it is important to seek success in a more balanced way.

Do you believe that anything less than perfect is unacceptable? Do you feel that what you do is never good enough? Do you put things off as you wait for the perfect moment to begin? If your answers to these questions are affirmative then it is clear that your attitude is getting in the way of your success and fulfillment in life.

If you always strive to do your best, nobody can ask for more than that. A perfectionist knows that this is true of everyone else; they know that no-one else expects any more of them. But they expect more of themselves; they themselves expect perfection. It is a chicken and egg situation. By seeking perfection you push yourself harder, and you start off by achieving greater things, but this is never enough. You always expect even more and so never quite have that feeling of satisfaction, which eventually demoralizes you and de-motivates you, until in the end you see no point in attempting things at all.

We all need a feeling of achievement, a feeling of success to make us feel good, to feel worthwhile and to motivate us. How can you learn to temper your expectation of perfection, and change your attitude so as to maximize your potential? You are not born a perfectionist. This attitude is something which has been learned by you, probably whilst you were a child in the process of growing up. Everyone’s deepest beliefs about themselves tend to be formed within the first seven to twelve years. Once these self-beliefs are formed, we then tend to live out our lives within the parameters of them.

You’re not born with a perfectionist attitude, it is learned. And no matter how deep rooted a belief is, what can be learned can be unlearned, with the help of hypnosis. Hypnosis is the key as this state allows access to your subconscious mind, where your deep rooted beliefs and attitudes are stored. With hypnosis you can access the inner workings of your mind and make suggestions which will temper the quest for perfectionism. With hypnosis you can adjust your mindset so that you always do your best and are happy with your best, so that you experience a feeling of satisfaction. With the help of hypnosis you can learn to enjoy your successes and this in turn will motivate you to achieve greater and greater things.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for motivation, well-being and success.

With a degree in psychology and qualifications in hypnotherapy, NLP and sports psychology, Roseanna Leaton is one of the leading practitioners of self-improvement. You can get a free hypnosis download from http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com and peruse her extensive library of hypnosis cds .

Article Source: Is Being a Perfectionist Holding You Back?

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Methamphetamine, what you should know.

Posted: 1st July 2009 by admin in Uncategorized
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Once located in rural towns and on the West Coast, meth has erupted across the United States and is now devastating countless families, children and neighborhoods. Here are some facts you should know about meth:

 

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What is it?
Methamphetamine is a powerfully addictive stimulant that has a high potential for abuse and dramatically affects the central nervous system. It is a unique drug because it is easy to obtain and relatively cheap to buy. This is all made possible by the fact that meth can be manufactured literally in a person’s backyard from relatively inexpensive, over-the-counter ingredients such as Pseudoephedrine — a common cold medicine, as well as paint thinner, cat litter and lighter fuel.

What does it look like?
Meth is a white, odorless, bitter-tasting powder that easily dissolves in alcohol or water and can be smoked, injected or snorted.
imageimage 
Where is it made?
Two-thirds of our country’s meth supply is produced in super labs in Mexico and Southern California run by organized crime and street gangs. The remaining third is made in the U.S. in makeshift meth labs found in basements, bedrooms, kitchens garages, bedrooms and trunks of cars.

How is it made?
Meth is made from a fairly simple recipe found on the internet and can be produced in as few as 6 to 8 hours using apparatus and cookware that can be quickly dismantled and stored or relocated to avoid detection. A mere $200 can buy the ingredients to produce an ounce of meth (enough to get 100 people high). Since cooking meth produces such large amounts of highly toxic waste, there is always a pending danger of explosion or fire which could endanger the lives of children and adults, as well as harm the surrounding environment. 

What are its effects on the user?
Meth can make a user awake and alert, and can keep him or her up for hours and even days. At first it can give him or her a rush and a sense of euphoria, decrease their appetite and provide feelings of confidence. After a "binge," a user will inevitably crash, and can become severely depressed and even suicidal.

Why is it used?
Like most drugs, people use meth for the rush. However, due to its effects on the body, people use it for energy, weight loss or to self-medicate — all of which have serious consequences. image

How can I recognize a meth user?
A meth user could be anyone – a teen or parent, urban dweller to city folks, students to professionals — in your neighborhood. If you think someone you know might be using meth, or you’re a parent who thinks their teen might be using, learn the warning signs to look for.

How can meth affect me and my community?
Unfortunately, meth can harm not only those who are addicted to the drug, but their family, friends and neighbors. Issues regarding, safety, law enforcement, health care and social workers can all arise when meth takes over a community. Learn more in How Meth Affects Your Community.

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Methamphetamine is furiously spreading from rural areas, where it’s home-brewed, into our cities and suburbs. Who is vulnerable? Often, exhausted new moms with 24/7 demands. Here’s the cautionary tale of one mom-next-door who fell into addiction image and then fought her way back.

This story by Elizabeth Fish as told to Lisa Collier Cool is reprinted, with permission, from the April 2006 issue of Babytalk magazine.

When the police car pulled me over, my first thought was "Why am I getting a ticket?" It was 8:30 p.m. and I was on my way home from Target. My baby girl, Cameren, was asleep in her car seat. After telling me that I was driving five miles over the speed limit, the officer started asking my partner, Derek, a lot of questions. Who was the man who’d talked to Derek in one of the store aisles? We didn’t know — just a stranger who’d said hi. Did we have a walkie-talkie? No, I said, getting more bewildered by the minute.

All of a sudden, five more patrol cars pulled up, their lights flashing. The police ordered us out of our car so they could search it. Derek told me not to worry: The police would realize that imagethey’d made a mistake and let us go. But there was something I’d forgotten. "What’s this?" an officer demanded, holding up a capsule of white powder from my purse.

I’d never been so terrified in my life. I’d just been caught with methamphetamine. I didn’t know it at the time, but the man in Target had been caught shoplifting Sudafed, which contains ingredients used to make meth, and the police thought Derek and I might be running a lab. The officer told me to get into the patrol car with Cameren, while narcotics detectives tested the powder. Soon a female officer got into the car and read me my rights. I burst into tears when she patted me down. How could this be happening? I was barely 20 years old and had never been in any trouble.

By the time I arrived at Linn County Jail, in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, on that March night in 2005, it was close to midnight. I had to get naked in front of a female sheriff for a humiliating body search; then I was given a green jail uniform,

image photographed, and fingerprinted. I was escorted to a cell and locked in with three sleeping women. I lay down on a metal bunk bed as quietly as possible. All night long, I shivered under the thin prison blanket. I was afraid I’d just ruined my life — and I nearly had.

Instant Attraction

Derek and I had met in June 2003, at a friend’s birthday party. He was five years older than me, tall, and good-looking. But what immediately attracted me was that he was the quiet one in the crowd, and I’m shy, too. We started seeing each other every day, then moved in together.

After we’d been living together for three months, Derek, who is now 25, told me that he’d been using meth, on and off, for about a year. I was shocked — I’d never taken any drugs, not even pot. A few days later, he showed me a tiny bag of white powder. "Want to try some?" he asked. I hesitated, but I trusted Derek. "Just a little," I said.

He poured the meth onto image a piece of foil, held a lit match underneath, and inhaled the smoke. Then it was my turn. The rush was immediate. I was filled with energy and felt like I could do anything. Soon, I was doing meth a few times a week, staying up all night, cleaning the apartment and having intense conversations with Derek. When I took meth, shyness disappeared; I could talk for hours. It was like life had become one big party.

I began needing more meth to get the high I craved. I gave up my dream of becoming a makeup artist and quit school. I avoided my family. That is, until the day I found out I was pregnant. That changed everything — I was so afraid it would hurt the baby, I quit cold turkey. I had no withdrawal symptoms and didn’t even crave the drug.

Weary — and Weak

Cameren was born on November 23, 2004, healthy and beautiful, with blonde hair, big brown eyes, and dimpled cheeks. I set out to be the perfect mom. I used hand sanitizer before I touched imageher, and boiled her bottles. But Cameren was waking up every two hours and I was worn out. I knew just what would perk me up — and I started feeling that familiar urge.

I felt guilty when I started smoking meth again, but I also told myself it was helping me be a better mom. A few puffs gave me the energy to clean the apartment, do Cameren’s laundry, run some errands, and still be wide awake whenever she cried. I was very careful, though, never to smoke around Cameren. I’d wait until Derek got home, and the two of us would put our baby down securely in her crib, turn on an air purifer to keep smoke away from her, and go downstairs to light up. I somehow managed to convince myself that by doing it this way, I could take care of my habit — and my baby.

Then I ended up in jail. Because I had such a small amount of meth, I was charged only with a misdemeanor. I was given a court date and released without bail. A few days later, a caseworker from the Department of

 

imageHuman Services (DHS) arrived at our door. She told us that we had until midnight that night to show up at a nearby hospital for a urine test for meth. We were terrified.

Later that week, the caseworker returned, with a police officer. "We’re here to remove Cameren from your home," she announced. I ran to the crib, screaming, "Why are you doing this?" Derek started yelling that they had no right to take our child. But we both knew what had happened: Our drug tests had come back positive. I was hysterical, crying and asking to hold her one more time.

For five frantic days the only thing I knew was that my baby was in foster care. Then my mother was given custody of Cameren, and I was allowed to visit her a few times a week. It was a relief, but I hated leaving her and coming home to an empty crib. I’d hold her toys and cry, wondering if I’d ever get her back. She got so attached to my mom that there were tim

es when I visited that my baby didn’t even want me to hold her.

Crash-and-Burn Time

Still, I kept on smoking meth. It was crazy: The drug was what had caused all the problems, yet I turned to it to take away the pain. On the bad nights, I stayed up, talking to my mom on the phone, and aching from missing my baby.

My parents helped me find a lawyer, who negotiated a deal: I would enter a drug treatment program, perform 20 hours of community service, and pay a $550 fine. For six months, I’d be on probation, and if I stayed out of trouble, the drug charge would be cleared from my record.

But we still wouldn’t get Cameren back. In fact, DHS assigned us a new caseworker. She immediately suspected that I was still on meth, and warned me that if I didn’t get my act together, I could lose my parental rights permanently. That scared me enough to say, "Just tell me what to do." The caseworker felt it would be easier for Derek and me to get sober if we didn’t live together, so he went to live with his parents, and I moved in with my grandmother. She also told me about an Iowa self-help group called Moms Off Meth. I took her advice and went.

At my first meeting, on May 25, 2005, I was high. When it was my turn to talk, I was surprised at how emotional I got. Tears were streaming down my face as I shared my story about being arrested and losing my daughter. I was overwhelmed with the guilt and shame of admitting, for the first time, that I’d become an addict — and was in danger of losing Cameren forever.

Then other women told me that they’d all been down that road, they’d dealt with it, and they’d stopped using. Nearly every mom in the room had seen her child put into foster care thanks to meth addiction. I looked at these moms and thought, "If they can do it, by God, so can I."

Withdrawal made me feel miserable this time. You want to lie in bed, you’re very tired. You sweat. You feel nauseous. But every Wednesday, I went to Moms Off Meth. It was inspiring to hear what the other women were doing to stay clean. And I told them something that worked for me. One night the craving got so bad that I called my mom in tears. "Why don’t you come over?" she said. Although it wasn’t one of my scheduled visits, she figured that the caseworker wouldn’t mind. How could it be bad, if seeing my daughter helped remind me of why I had to stay sober? I played with Cameren, and hearing her laugh and coo helped so much. I put her down to sleep and lay down next to her. "I love you," I whispered. Getting my child back would be better than any drug, I thought. By the time I left that night, the craving had vanished.

When Derek saw my success at staying off meth for several months, he joined a treatment program, too. We began dating again, and helped each other stay sober. In September 2005, I went back to college. The next month, I completed probation — and rejoiced when the drug charge was officially wiped off my record.

Soon I had much more to celebrate. On January 20, 2006, Cameren moved back home with me. If I stay clean, I’ll regain full custody later in the year. That’s a challenge I’m up for: This whole mess made me realize that I need to be with my daughter. Getting a second chance to be Cameren’s mother is the greatest gift of all.

 

Lisa Collier Cool is an award-winning medical writer and mother of three in Pelham, New York.

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