I’ve been depresses since about a month or so before school started. I had all the symptoms – an empty mood, loss of interest, excessive crying, feelings of worthlessness or pessimism, decreased energy and fatigue, feeling ‘slowed down,’ difficulty concentrating and making decisions, and other physical pains (headaches, back pains, etc.)
It’s getting to a bad point – not suicidal, not that extreme – but the fact that I’m stuck in this…rut and I can’t get out makes me even MORE depressed ABOUT my depression.
My problem:
My mother takes nothing seriously. (This has contributed to my depression, might I add.) The last time I opened up to her was two years ago, about how I was upset that she and I fought a lot and that never seemed to happen with her and my brother. She proceeded to yell at me, and tell me that “I’d be lucky if my brother talks to me after I leave for college.” That was the only time in my life I’ve ever tried telling her how I felt, and she responded to it with unnecessary anger. One day, when I tried to mention in passing that I felt like I had barely any friends at my school, she called me, and I quote, a “dramatic bitch.”
Don’t get me wrong. My mother is an amazing person, I love her and she loves me. But when it comes to serious conversation topics, she gets angry and confronts them with power struggles. She takes nothing I say seriously and assumes I am being dramatic because I’m a 16 year old therefore MUST be indescribably horomonal.
So. If I tried to sit her down one day and genuinely say, “Mom, I really do believe you don’t take some of the things I say seriously and I would like you to have more respect for my thoughts and opinions.”
…she would probably laugh in my face and / or ground me.
And if I told her I was depressed, and wanted help, again, the same result. Or she’d accuse me of faking for attention. (God knows I need attention from my family, but there is no way in hell I’d fake a medical condition to receive it. I’m not a twisted person.)
I also haven’t SEEMED depressed lately, to others at least. From an outsider’s point of view, my grades have not changed, my physical appearance has not changed, and nor has my general aura around people.
Which of course would all be points brought up by my mother in a debate over whether I’m “really” depressed or not.
I’m not asking for tips on how to deal with difficult people like my mother.
I’m asking how NOT to deal with her. I’ve considered guidance counselors at my school, but considering it is a catholic school and they have told previous students in my condition to pray, and see the light of God, I’m crossing that option off the list. I’d talk to a doctor in confidentiality, but sooner or later said doctor would deem this serious and make contact with my mother (considering I am, in fact, a minor), who would refuse me any sort of therapy or medication, again claiming I was attention starved.
I’d rather avoid asking about over the counter depression medications for fear of looking like a scam artist with an addiction to popping pills, but if push comes to shove…
(Again. That I would rather avoid…)
So.
There really is no specific question here…what I’m looking for is advice from anyone there who has (or hasn’t) been in situations like this. Who should I talk to – where should I turn? Are there any methods of therapy or medication (prescription or not.) that have worked for you in the past? I would prefer if nobody left advice about my mother, I have deemed her stubborn close-mindedness incurable, but feel free to leave any advice about her, if you wish.
Anything and everything you say will be taken into great value. I really really do want to hear from anyone out there. Thank you so much for putting up with my awful, horribly long ‘question’ of sorts.
<3
Oh, and I don’t believe stress is the base of my depression. This all started on a fun family vacation, and school has been relatively easy this year.
