My wife finally wound up with the research grant that she’d been lobbying for. She’s a Ph. D candidate at our local university, and primarily concentrates on European geology. Obviously, as an American, her only exposure to European rocks and so forth has been through literature. But now she is over in Europe.

Malta, in particular. And accompanying her is a colleague who is driving me into questioning why she hasn’t returned. The original research plans dictated that she study over in Malta for a month and then come back. She’s been over there two months. And I haven’t heard a peep out of her.

But, honestly, our marriage is shaky right now, and has been for years, so I’m not shocked by her not phoning me. I still love her–don’t misunderstand me–but the passion has waned. I’m in a wheel chair from alcoholism and obesity, yet she is youthful and healthy. I am on disability, whereas she’s active in a professional, healthy environment on campus. I attend pro-communism rallies during the day, while she engages her undergraduate students and conducts research. So, there is a great disconnect in our relationship.

Our marriage started dissolving back when the abuse started. I would come home from McDonald’s, which is where I worked before my legs were amputated from diabetes complications, and just slap her around (usually more than she deserved), and she’d scream and fight back. It became perpetual while I was healthy, but I can’t do it anymore now that I’m handicapped.

So that’s really where our marriage stands right now.

But what makes me suspicious is that the colleague of hers who went with her is this 6′ 4” retired Navy SEAL. He served in the Iraqi War in 2003 and won a purple heart (flesh wound) and a Silver Star for battlefield bravery. This was all in the early stages of the war, and he was honorably discharged with all those medals after one tour (the sissy only served one tour). He enrolled in our local college and is now in the Ph. D. program with my wife.

And what I read in the local newspaper a month is making me suspicious. This was the headline: LOCAL WAR HERO INHERITS FORTUNE FROM DECEASED UNCLE.

He inherited fifteen million dollars from an uncle who wanted to express his gratitude for his nephew’s battlefield heroics.

My wife and I don’t have any children. She has an inverted uterus. So it’s not like she has anything beyond me to come home to. She’s forty years old, and the SEAL (her colleague) is only twenty-eight. So I doubt there’s any chance of them being romantically involved. I will admit that he looks like a Greek God (I rode the city bus to campus one day and met him one time), but he is just too young and immature to be with my wife. She belongs with a mature, productive man like myself, in my opinion. Not some silly, inexperienced kid. But the SEAL put his house up for sale the other day. No one in the community knows why; nor has anyone, including myself and the college, been able to contact my wife and her colleague.

So where do you think my wife is? And how can I get her back ASAP?

I love that woman with all my heart.

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  1. Maria says:

    Dude, really?

  2. itsmeagian says:

    Your a fat ass drunk in a wheelchair and he’s well rich. Oh and you like to smell asses..so of course shes cheating on you…get a life dude..you sound seriously insane..

  3. BeBE Banks says:

    I think she might not, but to be on the sure side, just ask her why shes been acting funny???

    ANSWER MINE!!
    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Alxa7sumqw316fZZTtb2aRbsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090925105731AAfbWxS

  4. Val says:

    Didn’t you say yesterday that you have been inside your secretary more this year than your wife?

  5. blondie says:

    all i read was “the sissy only served one tour”…f-you bastard! you deserve whatever you get you ungreatful f*ck! why don’t you go serve “one tour” and see how you like it…especially if you suffer what he did! prick!

  6. Confused_Daily says:

    For slapping her around you better count your blessing that you’re only in a wheelchair and not someones b*tch in jail! Do you know what they do to wife-beaters in jail?? If you really loved her with all your heart you would have shown it when you had the chance.

  7. ĿỉŁF™ Clone #6 ↕ says:

    That’s funny.

  8. life's a journey says:

    OMG you are good.Maybe she’ll come back after you start therapy.Check you prescriptions and renew the meds asap.

  9. Love & Happiness says:

    Well your name is “Joey the butt sniffer”. That says a lot about yourself, really. I was going to give you advice until I read this part:

    (the sissy only served one tour)

    Ok well let me ask you this, Jackass, did you serve any time in the war? I’m guessing not. So shut the F*ck up, one tour is one to many. You are a F*cking idiot dude.

  10. John Q Citizen says:

    The facts: 1- You were a wife-beater and probably would be now w/o your handicap, love and abuse are mutually exclusive. 2- You don’t take the care to maintain your physique. 3- She appears to gravitate toward American soldiers and you are a communist. 4- She stands a chance to benefit from millions of $$. There are more salient issues but for brevity’s sake I’ll leave them alone. You have need to worry. Sorry to be so blunt but I am a combat vet and was married 17 years until death did us part. Find a person who shares your affinities in politics and violence. By the way, one tour is more than enough, he is not a sissy.

  11. Jeff says:

    I’m calling BS on this post.

    I don’t believe it.

    It’s made up!